My Subject Disposition - Class

Hey Everyone,

Not sure if this will be a long or short blog post so this is as much as a surprise to me as it is to you. I'm reading some reading due Wednesday for my feminist theory and methods class and its discussing the intersectionality of race, class, gender etc and the necessary questions any scholar, but in this case a feminist scholar, should interrogate when conducting research. There is no category that exists within a vacuum and individual experience that can be generalized across peoples who share two or more of the categories. After being in classes for a couple of weeks and being at Duke for four years I come to realize more and more how my lived experiences really effect my perspectives on things. I hate talking about "diversity" because it has so many issues attached to it especially when dealing with admissions to universities but there is still a lot to be said on having varying experiences of location, race, gender, sexuality, and class. I'm not saying that someone from a poor neighborhood can speak on behalf of everyone from poor neighborhoods because so many other factors affect of disposition on things nonetheless where I come from really enhances what I say if I realize the connection between the two. In thinking about this I'm left to answer Who am I? This is a question that is overused and over discussed I believe but I wonder if its ever really answered by the individual who asks it of herself. Doesn't our person continue to change as we grow older, experience new things, move around, gain more education etc?

So here's my stab at looking back and forward to my subject disposition. The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that I grew up in housing projects (Walt Whitman/Ingersol) of Brooklyn NY. I smelled illegal substances while walking up the stairs, have heard gun shots and police/fire/ambulance alarms and none of those noises really bother me. I went to a predominately black middle school and ended up at a very mixed high school still in Brooklyn. But I can't remove myself from the projects yet. They are who I am. I speak a certain way, walk around with a certain attitude because of the location in which I grew up. My neighborhood had a number of things that still exists today - a police station in the heart of the projects, a catholic church right right to it, a public library next to that, and the first elementary school for African Americans in Brooklyn (maybe even NYC). Everything existed within two minutes of each other and I had no real reason to want to leave. I went to school and learned and was completely content with my surroundings which was and is perfectly ok. I stumbeld upon great teachers who really invested their time in me and encouraged me to apply to different college bound program (legal outreach) and go to a competitive high school where I would be challenged. This idea that I had to leave in order to better myself really bothers me. Although I know I left and I'm still out but am I really a more intelligent person because I left? Maybe I am... but anyway thats not the point. I am forever thankful for the grittiness of my surroundings. The fact that my mother was on welfare and received food stamps, the fact that I never owned a pair of name brand anything (clothing), the fact that my father has been incarcerated a number of times. I'm putting my information on front street (of course there's more) which is fine by me. Anyway back to the original point (i think). This very unique perspective isn't at the university level period and I'm glad I'm here to say something (again I don't speak for everyone who was raised in the projects). All I'm saying is that there is a lot of merit in looking at the WHOLE person - where they come from really effects who they are whether they are from the cornfields of Indiana or the Inner city. I spoke about intersectionality and I'll speak more on it later but I just wanted to highlight the class aspect of my identity for tonight. Of course I didn't speak on the fact that both my parents were born in another country (the Dominican Republic) where my father never received formal schooling and both my parents were more poor than I could ever relate to which I'm sure affected the way my mother choice to raise me and my father choice to talk to me (cause I wouldn't say he raised me).

Sorry if this doesn't sound too coherent. I was just thinking through my finger tips and wanted to be as candid with you all as I possibly could.

Until next time,
E.Canela