Starting something new is an extremely sobering experience. I graduate with a Masters in May and am looking forward to learning in a new environment within the field of public affairs/policy. Many ask what specifically but I've been looking for a program that allows the recipient of the fellowship to learn in a number of different avenues within the public affairs sector.
After applying to some and looking toward the looming deadlines that are too soon for comfort I'm realizing that the confidence is dwindling. Am I qualified enough? Will this be a good match? What if they don't like me? Quite honestly its a space I don't often find myself in. I hope that doesn't sound too cocky but I feel like, in general, I have a lot of confidence in my abilities and attempt to be self-reflective and work on improving the things I know need more work. People are works in progress and I take that to heart but in general I usually feel good about myself.
Venturing into something new is a bit crazy. I hadn't planned that I would no longer be a student after receiving my masters. The plan was always to continue to the PhD. Now that has changed and I'm confident this is the right move but thats probably the only thing I'm sure of. This isn't a pity post in any sense. This is just a post that the "application process" warrants. Everything is incredibly subjective and there are so many applicants. I have to ask if what I can offer is enough.
When one feels like this, how can one perform in an interview setting? When things become more concrete on real opportunities after graduation, I will let you know. Until then, I'll sit here shifting between really motivated and applying to more jobs and working fellowships, "working" on my thesis, and teaching my students (which will eventually warrant its own post) to refusing to do work and playing out way too many scary scenarios - what if i dont find a job?
Until next time,
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